Thursday, January 9, 2014

How to put on socks

Warning. Although there are exception, the general rule is that socks come in matched pairs and are usually gender specific. They are not left or right specific, either sock of the pair can work on either leg of the person. Socks for males are usually bigger, thicker, coarser, plainer and longer lasting than socks for females, aside from being about one third of the price and they never go out of fashion (no wonder females are always complaining about low salary when they waste their money like that, without any sense whatsoever). Some people like to "cross-dress" with socks and wear socks made for the other sex. They usually claim it's more comfortable. Although some narrow-minded people frown at that, there is nothing wrong or sinful with sock cross-dressing.

Socks have three distinctive features.

1. A hole in one end. This is where your feet go into the sock.

2. On the opposite end of the sock there should not be a hole. This is where your toes will be located when the sock is on your feet.

3. A outward pointing "kink" close to the centre of the sock. This is called Heel and is where your heel will be when the sock is on your feet.

How to put on socks.

1. Find pair of socks that are the right size for your feet. (Note, it is desirable that socks are clean when you put them on the feet. If you cannot find clean socks ask your wife or mother.) After your wife (or mother) have told you where the clean socks are located, select a pair whose colouring and texture fit the occasion.

2. Your wife (or mother) have usually done this before washing the socks for you, but inspect them for holes. There should be one hole, located at one end (where, as  previously mentioned, your foot goes into the sock) in each sock. If there are more holes, especially around the toes and heels, the socks are worn out and need to be replaced at first opportunity.

3. Find the outside of the sock. The female who is in charge of the household has usually done this for you but make sure that the outside of the sock does in fact turn out. Usually the inside is rougher and has a seam near the toe, this seam should point in. If the socks are inside out, put your hand through the hole in the end, grab the toe part and pull the toe part through the hole at the end.

4. Grab sock with both hands, put both thumbs inside the hole and bunch the sock up between your fingers until your thumbs touch the toe part from the inside (the heel part of the sock should point down or to your feet, not up or to your face, while you´re doing this). Insert foot into hole so that your toes touch the toe part of the sock.

5. Hold the socks loosely and pull them as far up the foot as they comfortably go, stretching the material enough so that the socks cover your feet without any wrinkles. Take especial care when stretching the socks over your heels to ensure comfortable fit.

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