Saturday, January 18, 2014

How to have more money.

Warning. Saving too much money will cost you your friends. Having too much money will get you some friends but they'll leave when the money runs out.

1. Make a detailed list so you know what you are spending your money on. Track your progress so you know how you are doing in adjusting expenses.

2. Make a budget by going through that list and separate what you need from what you like or want. Need = shelter, food, clothing, transport. Like/Want = large house, exotic foods, designer clothing, nice new car, great stereo. Allocate your salary to necessary items and eliminate the want items.

3. Create emergency fund so you can meet unexpected expenses like broken fridge or washing machine (but see nr. 10). (Money you keep in a account is not emergency fund if you owe the same amount, or more, somewhere else.)

4. Start paying up loans, starting with the loans that you pay the highest interest on.

5. Don't use credit cards or overdraft on your bank account. Don't travel if you have to use credit card to pay the trip. If you can't pay it when you order, you can't afford it.

6. Get rid of the car (or one or of the cars from the home) and use public transport or bicycle or your feet or get slower, cheaper car. Don't buy a gas guzzling car to make you feel safe in, drive safely.

7. Don't eat out, order in food or get take-away food more than once or twice a month. Don't go out regularly with your friends to pubs, coffee shops or similar expensive places. Meet at each others house in rotation. Plan your meals in advance, plan them around what is available in your freezer/fridge, aim to empty your freezer of everything more than a month old, fridge more than a week old. Use coupons at the supermarket.

8. Cut regular costs. Shop around for deals on regular cost items. Stop smoking if you smoke. Stop drinking alcohol if you drink it. Cut cable or get the cheapest option, get slower internet, lease cheaper mobile phone, reduce insurance coverage (self insure, especially if you have older worn out things and your insurance carrier has lots of small print that can reduce or prevent payout in case of you needing insurance). Cut the gym and go out jogging. Pack a lunch for work.

9. Buy things that last and take care of the things you have. Wax your car, paint your house, don't drink or eat in the sofa or over the carpet. Don't be sloppy and leave your things where they can be damaged. Don't let your kids leave their toys/things outside.

10. "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without." Don't replace things just because some new things are available or they develop minor failures. Always try to repair them first. Don't replace your oven because you burned some food in it. Don't replace your TV because there is a new one with a 3D option. Repair your children's bicycles instead of buying new ones. Fix clothing, sew up small rips, replace zippers, glue shoes that are starting to come apart. When clothes are finally worn out they are good for rags. There are videos on YouTube teaching you how to do all those things.

How to make cup of instant coffee.

Warning. Coffee is a stimulant, drinking too much coffee can lead to difficulties sleeping, short temper and other mood swings. Drinking coffee does not make person an asshole, that is a previously acquired condition.

Items needed: Boiled water, jar or pack instant coffee powder or granules, container, spoon, mixing utensil and a cup.
Optional items: Milk, Sugar, Syrup.

1. Follow my earlier tutorial on how to boil water ( to get boiled water in a container. (It has been brought to my attention that modern technology has brought us a thing called Electric Kettle which can also be used to make boiled water. Feel free to use that method if desired. If needed I can write instructions on how to use Electric Kettle)

2. Pour the boiled water into the cup until it is about 3/4 full (or 1/4 empty if you prefer that type of measurements).

3. Open the instant coffee powder/granules jar and use the spoon to measure quantity of powder/granules into the cup. The instant coffee powder/granules jar should have recommendations of base mixture on the label. If the jar has no recommendations of base mixture, put in one spoonful of instant coffee powder/granules in to the cup, follow step number 4 and taste the results. If you find the results taste weak add half a spoonful of instant coffee powder/granules to the cup, follow step number 4 and taste the results. Repeat until you are satisfied with the taste. Please write the number of spoonfuls you have used to reach satisfying taste on the outside of the instant coffee powder/granules jar for later use.
If your instant coffee powder/granules come from a pack, you usually use one pack per cup. Please read the instructions on the pack to make sure that that is correct.
Feel free to vary the mixture to suit your taste.

4. Using the mixing utensils, stir the boiled water in the cup so the coffee powder mixes with the water. The spoon can be used for that operation.

5. Add Milk, Sugar and/or other optional items to the cup until the instant coffee in the cup suit your taste.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

I'm blessed.

Blessed are the ignorant for they believe themselves to be right. At least that's what I believe.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

How to put on socks

Warning. Although there are exception, the general rule is that socks come in matched pairs and are usually gender specific. They are not left or right specific, either sock of the pair can work on either leg of the person. Socks for males are usually bigger, thicker, coarser, plainer and longer lasting than socks for females, aside from being about one third of the price and they never go out of fashion (no wonder females are always complaining about low salary when they waste their money like that, without any sense whatsoever). Some people like to "cross-dress" with socks and wear socks made for the other sex. They usually claim it's more comfortable. Although some narrow-minded people frown at that, there is nothing wrong or sinful with sock cross-dressing.

Socks have three distinctive features.

1. A hole in one end. This is where your feet go into the sock.

2. On the opposite end of the sock there should not be a hole. This is where your toes will be located when the sock is on your feet.

3. A outward pointing "kink" close to the centre of the sock. This is called Heel and is where your heel will be when the sock is on your feet.

How to put on socks.

1. Find pair of socks that are the right size for your feet. (Note, it is desirable that socks are clean when you put them on the feet. If you cannot find clean socks ask your wife or mother.) After your wife (or mother) have told you where the clean socks are located, select a pair whose colouring and texture fit the occasion.

2. Your wife (or mother) have usually done this before washing the socks for you, but inspect them for holes. There should be one hole, located at one end (where, as  previously mentioned, your foot goes into the sock) in each sock. If there are more holes, especially around the toes and heels, the socks are worn out and need to be replaced at first opportunity.

3. Find the outside of the sock. The female who is in charge of the household has usually done this for you but make sure that the outside of the sock does in fact turn out. Usually the inside is rougher and has a seam near the toe, this seam should point in. If the socks are inside out, put your hand through the hole in the end, grab the toe part and pull the toe part through the hole at the end.

4. Grab sock with both hands, put both thumbs inside the hole and bunch the sock up between your fingers until your thumbs touch the toe part from the inside (the heel part of the sock should point down or to your feet, not up or to your face, while you´re doing this). Insert foot into hole so that your toes touch the toe part of the sock.

5. Hold the socks loosely and pull them as far up the foot as they comfortably go, stretching the material enough so that the socks cover your feet without any wrinkles. Take especial care when stretching the socks over your heels to ensure comfortable fit.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

How to make boiling water.

Warning: Boiling water is highly technical process that should only be attempted by specially trained adults, for example your wife (or your mom if you don't have a wife). Boiling water is hot and can cause severe burns and can even be fatal if inhaled. Do not drink boiling water. Also make sure you follow all ESD precautions (aren't you proud Jos?).

To make boiling water you need a powerful source of radiating thermal energy (heat) for example a stove or a big fire (but do not set the stove (or the house, the wife or anything else "valuable" on fire). You also need a container that is water and heat proof (a metal pot without an hole in the bottom is an excellent choice). Last, but not least, you'll need water.

1. Put water into container and make sure that it does not leak out again.
2. Put the container on or close to the heat source.
3. Make sure that the heat source is radiating thermal energy (in other word turn the stove on or light the fire).
4. Watch the water for signs of boiling (this may take some time). First sign of approaching boiling water is a steam that rises from the surface of the water. Second sign is small air bubbles in the water in the part of the waterproof container that is closest to the radiating thermal energy source. The goal of boiling water is reached if large air bubbles burst continuously to the surface of the water.
5. Now you have boiling water. What you do with it is only limited by your imagination. You could make coffee, tea, soup or almost any kind of meal that does not have the words "grilled" or "fried" in it.

Please note the difference between "boiling water" and "boiled water". Boiled water is water that was turned into a boiling water but is not boiling anymore due to proportional reduction or disappearance of radiating thermal energy source.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

How to nail a nail into wood.

First a warning. Do not confuse nails with fingernails. Nails are made of metal and are not stuck to your fingers. Hitting nails with hammer does not cause pain, hitting fingernails does.
1. In one hand grab nail between fingertips.
2. Press the pointy end towards the wood and the flat end towards you.
3. Using the other hand, grab the hammer by the handle.
4. Swing the hammer firmly and accurately, causing the flat part of the hammer head to hit directly onto the flat end of the nail.
5. Repeat until nail is stuck to wood.
6. Stop grabbing the nail between fingertips and move the hand away from the nail.
7. Keep on swinging the hammer in the other hand and hitting the flat end of the nail until it has reached desired depth.
8. Stop swinging the hammer.
9. Repeat steps 1 to 8 until desired number of nails has been nailed to the wood.