Mistakes

Some of the best things I've done, were mistakes.

Books

Never judge a book by its movie.

Design

At our hardware design headquarters, research has been proceeding to develop new ultimate lines of highly sophisticated smart products that establish not only new standards for quality, technological leadership, and operating excellence but also highly surpass all previous customer expectations. With customer success as our primary focus, work has been proceeding at highest rate on redeveloping the conceived idea of an hardware design that would not only provide inverse reactive method for use in unilateral phase translation methods, as Nikolai Tesla successfully demostrated, but more importantly would also be capable of automatically synchronising those important hardware parameters with the user first design principle. Using such highly sophisticated devices as refractive imagineering optical conceiving modulation modification monitors, energy efficient paradigm shifting processing modules and cooling the whole system with panametric fan equipped with two micro spurving bearings in a direct perpendicular line with the axial forces that totally eliminate side fumbling of the axial geometry. Moreover, whenever fluorescent optical radiation motion is required, it is now employed in conjunction with the drawn reciprocation radical arm, to reduce sinusoidal deceleration. The new product is designed to be highly efficient, to make the production of the improved equipment faster and more environmentally friendly while still maintaing the essential vault like structural characteristics of earlier generations and ultimately making sure we can provide clean & sustainable future for our children.

All of these new hardware designs are equipped with highly modified standard company specific software. Redeveloped to the highest possible standards to function without undue delays and create seamless experience with the end user produced by the modial interaction of magneto reluctance and capacitive duractance made possible only by the new imaginative use of pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic design with customisable analytic platform foundation, making service of the whole system infinitely easier and faster.

Fuel Storage

I'm starting to see a pattern in these movies. If some building is marked "Fuel Storage", it will blow up.

Best actor

In your opinion, who is the better actor. Homer Simpson or Fred Flintstone? It is on TV. Everything on TV is acting. Even reality TV.

Underwear

They say you should always wear clean underwear in case you have an accident. But if you get frightened before the accident it may not be clean anymore.

Pizza

Red or white wine with pizza, of course, depends on what's on the top. But should I use red or white candle? Color of the candle depends, of course, on a) the season and b) the company. Now the problem is; what color of napkins, tablecloth and music?

Living together

I find that when man and woman start living together she will immediately try to improve him. She'll start by getting rid of the stuff he likes; the comfortable slightly worn clothes, the old furniture. Then she will take him to purchase replacements (that he, of course, has to pay for). He will have to slave from dawn till dusk to "help" her improve the home, paint the house and move the furniture back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Then he has to go out and make money to purchase her "improvements" and modifications. In the end he will learn to appreciate the garage because that is about the only place in the home where he can be in peace. That is until the wife sells the garage because "it is never really used". :)

My fair lady

"I find that the moment I let a woman make friends with me, she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious, and a damned nuisance. I find that the moment I let myself make friends with a woman, I become selfish and tyrannical. Women upset everything. When you let them into your life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you’re driving at another." 
From the movie.